Three Reasons Why Ferbnessa Won’t Happen In the Near Future

1: Age differences are just…weird.

Okay, so Ferbnessa would be an interesting relationship to play around with, I have to admit.

However, the age difference between the two are weird. However, even though Dan Povenmire has expressed that he’d like to see the relationship when the age difference isn’t too much…

@Lorainy_D Probably when Ferb is in college and Vanessa is working at a coffee house, then their eyes meet and…

— Dan Povenmire (@DanPovenmire) June 26, 2012

…it doesn’t appear that this will happen anytime soon. Though, Act Your Age seems to be a title for an episode like that, we’re expecting the episode to focus mainly on the Phinabella relationship, and pretty much that only. Also, and I’m sorry that I can’t remember my reference, but I believe someone confirmed that there won’t be a drastic change of age in the episode, so that idea goes right out of the window.

But hey. If the age differences are somehow…resolved, then go ahead with building on the relationship. But it just seems quite weird, at least in its current stage.

2: Huh, I guess she already has a boyfriend.

In all likelyhood, the chances of Vanessa going to drop Monty at the current stage in their relationship are, quite, well, slim. Don’t believe me? Just wait for “Thanks But No Thanks” (vague spoiler. sorry.) With the personality of Vanessa, I’d be surprised if she dumps Monty any time soon, because of her rebellious nature, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc…

To be fair, Monty is actually sort of a kinda of a well of sort of kinda good guy. And, that wasn’t a pun in any way, shape or form.

3: Also, for whatever reason, if it does happen, the fandom will implode. Well, first they’ll go cry in the corner, then go goth, then have a pizza donut fight, and then they’ll all implode on themselves to disappear forever into the wibbly wobbly depths of time.

I’m sorry for that.

But for whatever reason (and I know, I should be the type of person to be educated on these types of things), maybe 60% of the fandom has set their hearts on a fake relationship known as Ferbtchen…or however you spell Ferb and Gretchen together.

Excuse me for my French (but it really should be Latin as that’s where most if not all of the words from the English language derive from, since French was derived directly from Anglo-Saxon without influence or borrowing from English), but who the hell came up with this?

Don’t yell at me in the comments if you’re part of that 60%. If, on the other hand, you’re in the 40% that doesn’t understand either, I will personally drive over to your house, and have a 7-course dinner about the reasons why Ferbnessa will never happen.*

*Hey. I can’t drive yet, so that may have been a lie.

But, oh well. I guess we could study relationships that could will work…like Phinabella.